Someone tells you they are not ok – what to do

If you ask someone if they are OK, it can be daunting if they answer “No”. 

You don’t have to fix everything for them; being present and listening can make a huge difference. To practice supportive listening and make helpful suggestions, try these tips.

Listen actively

Don’t rush or crowd them. Give them space to talk. Avoid interrupting or jumping in with solutions. Use simple prompts like “That sounds tough” or “Tell me more about that.”

Alternatives
“Thank you for telling me, it sounds like you are going through a lot right now”

“Can you tell me more about what’s going on for you?”

Show empathy, not judgement

Acknowledge what they’re feeling, even if you don’t fully understand. Avoid phrases like “You’ll be fine” or “Others have it worse.”

Ask what would help right now

Sometimes just being heard is enough. If they’re open, explore what support might make things easier.

Encourage professional support if needed

Let them know that programs like ours, or NMHPV and NMS are here and ready to support them. Or suggest they see a GP or mental health professional.

Check back in

One conversation probably isn’t enough. Following up shows you really care.

Avoid this

Don’t:

• downplay someone else’s feelings with expressions such as “You’ll be fine”.
• change the subject quickly if you feel uncomfortable.
• make promises you can’t keep – just being present is enough.

You don’t need to have all the answers. What matters is showing genuine care, listening, and helping the person feel heard. One conversation can make a real difference.