Managers and modelling self-care

A real story shared under a changed name – thankyou to the storyteller. 

Sabra, Nurse Manager 

Like many nurse managers, I fell into the role. I loved being a clinical nurse. Then one day the manager suddenly left, and I was asked to step up. I loved managing my team, until I didn’t. 

Learning on the job

When I first stepped into management, I felt flattered and excited. I loved being a clinical nurse, but I was ready for a new challenge. At first, it felt like having a shiny new toy. Each day was different, challenging, and like solving a puzzle. My manager was supportive in words, but she was so busy that there wasn’t much time for guidance. I had to learn on the job.

Racing to keep up with COVID

Then COVID hit, and everything changed. Nothing could have prepared me for what the pandemic threw at us. I was both afraid and exhilarated. Every day I put on a brave face for my team, but behind that mask I was running on adrenaline. I was fuelled by too much caffeine, not enough sleep, and no attention to my own health. Privately, I was struggling with despair, panic, and poor concentration.

Hitting pause for health

When I eventually caught COVID myself, it forced me to stop. It was like someone pressed the off-button on the treadmill. I felt like I’d hit rock bottom. That break gave me time to reflect, rest, and reset. I realised I hadn’t been looking after myself. I wasn’t being a good role model for my team either.

Identifying a new way of working

When I got back to work I decide to do things differently. I spoke to my manager and negotiated a job-share arrangement, with the option of picking up clinical shifts if I wanted. This made my management role more sustainable, and it gave me balance.

That break lifted a veil for me. I could finally see what I needed to do to be the healthiest version of myself, and in turn, be a better support for my team.