Workplace bullying: a manager’s experience

A real story shared under a changed name – thank you to the storyteller.

Nel an experienced Registered Nurse and manager. 

As a manager, you’re often the meat in the sandwich, balancing the expectations of the executive with the needs of the teams you lead. 

Good managers advocate for their teams and the families of the people they care for.   

People can only perform well when they feel supported themselves. That’s why it’s so important to take the time to encourage and recognise the people you work with. Every day you’re at work; you have the chance to notice and acknowledge your staff. Those small moments of recognition can make a big difference.

Bullying by management 

I was bullied as a manager and suffered moral distress as a result. It was horrible. It was relentless. I was being told to send staff to other areas to work. I had to make people who were on regular days work the night shift. There was a lack of autonomy.

I was being told that some patients who were not intubated didn’t need 1-1 care, but these people were delirious or hypoxic. Management was making decisions about the work, but they didn’t have the responsibility of having to explain this to staff, and families. I was left to navigate that.  

Taking a toll – an unsupportive workplace  

My workplace had become an unsupportive one, with unsupportive people. And it took a toll on my wellbeing. 

In the morning, I realised I was crying in the shower. I’d get to work and was dreading getting called into the DON’s office. I laugh now, but at the time, I would tremble. In the end, I left. I went on sick leave and consulted a psychologist and an industrial lawyer. I had a supportive GP and stayed on sick leave for 6 months.

While management was dismissive, I managed to reach an agreement with my employer with the assistance of professional and legal support. It was never about the money. It was about making them take notice that they’d behaved badly.

Recovering – take your time

Overcoming the adverse impact of bullying and working in a toxic work environment took time. I had to re-evaluate my career trajectory. 

Even after my sick leave I wasn’t capable of working. I thought to myself, ‘I’ll just get another job’. I tried critical care, but going back into that stressful work with the emotional toll I’d been through was the worst decision I could make.

I told myself I could do it. I loved the ICU, and I leaned towards it. I’d had 30 years of experience. But I was in a stressed and traumatised mindset. I wasn’t completely well.

Recognising you need help

I think the hardest first step is recognising that how you’re feeling is not ok. That you need help. You don’t have to know the cause. But the sooner you do it, the sooner you’ll be on your way to recovery.

Asking for support from family and friends

I considered myself lucky. I had a supportive network of family and friends I could fall back on and who were kind.

Using a specialist health service

If this service [NMHPA] had been available when I was going through what I did, I would definitely have taken the opportunity to use it. Nurses and midwives know that other nurses and midwives are the best support for them.

I encourage nurses and midwives at all levels of their careers, regardless of their workplace setting, to seek out mentors who can guide them in whatever they need.